I concede

By now the world knows that my bid to become the First Dog has failed. Though the new First Dog has been "rehomed" and "he's got tuxedo-black fur, with a white chest, white paws and a rakish white goatee." It's not me. What can I say? Bo ran a good campaign based on his hypoallergenic platform. Welcome to the 'Hood, Bo. Watch out for those Secret Service dogs, they don't have much of a sense of humor.

Training hampered

I have a rather embarrassing problem that is causing my swim training to be on hold. I'm shedding. A LOT. For several weeks. Hair is just falling off me everywhere. Clumps of hair. I suppose this is a good sign that spring is here, but it's embarrassing to clog up the filter at the pool. So for now, it's just running for me.

Lazy Sunday Afternoon

Dear Santa,

Perhaps, my letter is a bit late or perhaps you couldn't find my house. I was really hoping for this.

Sometimes, I can't find a human to run with. It would be really nice to turn on Animal Planet and jog away. It seems a whole lot healthier than eating toilet paper when I'm bored.

Back to work . .

My mountain guide service was back in business today. We headed out to Little Devils Stairs. Big Al stayed home to rest and recover, so I took lead and sweep duties. Here's mom and I taking a quick photo break. Don't I look like a regal mountain dog?


Oh, and I actually saw a partridge, but it wasn't in a pear tree.

I'm being a good dog.

Mostly because I'm afraid this will happen to me.





Big Al is doing well. But he keeps whacking me with that lampshade.

I'm glad that I'm not a poodle.

Warning: this is slightly disturbing.

I hereby declare my candidacy for First Dog . . .

Now that Barack Obama has been elected, I hear that the search is on for a first dog. While Malia and Sasha may want a puppy, I would like to declare my candidacy to be First Dog. Why? First, I am willing to make this sacrifice for my country. Sure, I have a good life now, but I'd like to serve my fellow Americans. Also, I hear the gig comes with dogwalkers, a big lawn, Secret Service agents to run with, and chefs. I would like to restore the reputation after Barney's recent incident. Perhaps, you are interested in my qualifications. First and foremost, I'm from D.C. I can show the Obamas around town and I'll be ready to lead on day 1. Second, I am already housetrained. A new puppy runs the risk of peeing in the Lincoln bedroom or pooping in the oval office. How undignified. I'm ready to go. Also, I understand people and dogs of the real America. You'll recall that I come from a humble upbringing and ran the streets for a few months. Oh, I'm sure you're thinking that I don't have any foreign policy experience. True, but I do understand Spanish as it is spoken at my doggie daycare. This could be important in my interactions with foreign Dogs of State. Also, I want to restore the dignity to the office of the First Dog. This week's Barney incident highlights the danger of a dog getting too comfy in the White House. I'm a lover, not a biter (though I make no promises about Fox News correspondants. I'd go Cujo on Bill O if given the chance.)

What do you say America, are you ready for change in the Doggie White House? Are you ready for a dog that knows America? Are you ready for a dog that can hit the ground running?

I'm back!

Sorry for the extended break, blog fans. In addition to my usual physical exercise regime, I've been working on an academic problem. I've been trying to crack the code and develop a forecast. And it's since it's all about me, the forecast is all about me, too. So without further ado, I present my findings.

After extensive research (almost seven years), I have determined that the greatest indicator of what my day holds is shoes. I explored other variables - human behavior, time of feeding, clothing, celestial alignment, but in the end it was shoes. My specific conclusions...

First, an easy one


Yawn. Rain. Please pass the remote and the Cheetos. I'll be on the couch until the sun comes out.


Parrrrrrty. The humans are going to work. This gives me 8-10 hours to rule the roost. I'll sleep on their bed, get in the trash, the options are limitless.


Grrr, not a fan of these shoes. Humans are going off on their bicycles and will be too tired for running or hiking.


Running. I like running. This will be a nice easy run.


Oh, boy. I hope I can keep up. Today is more of my race pace.

Like most scientific research, there is usually one outlier.


I was unable to make any substantial correlation. Sometimes we went hiking, sometimes we went swimming, sometimes the humans left and came back with bags of food (yum!), sometimes we went on a K-L-A-W. This problem needs further study. I do like the straps, it makes carrying them around much easier.

Party Time

That's right a pool party! Every year they let the dogs take a dip in the people pool before shutting down for the season.

Sunday, September 7, 1-3PM
Wheaton/Glenmont Pool
Dogs you need id (county license and a rabies certificate)
More info here and here.

And here are some photos from last year.

I'm going to work really hard at being good this week, so mom and dad will let me go. Look for me in the fast lane.

Today is . . .

Toilet Paper Day. I have no reference that is an official holiday, but it's on the internet so it must be true, right? Interestingly, it may also be National Dog Day . Coincidence? I think not. To celebrate I may pull that tp all the way downstairs.

The River Dogs

I know nothing

And pay no attention to the white stuff in my mouth.

The Fluff

Since Steve asked for a Big Al update, here he is. He's been spending most of his time in his summer den - the basement bathroom. The marble floor keeps him nice and cool. Of course, this leave the front door unprotected, so I need to pick up his slack on alerting the humans to possible canines on the street, mailman, and delivery trucks.

Wake me up for dinner . .

The Big Games 08.08.08

Somewhat miffed that I wasn't invite to participate, coach, or provide color commentary, but today was the much anticipated Puppy Games 2008. If you missed it, fear not it will be rerun. When you watch, be sure to check out those pups form in the pool. I could teach them a thing or two.

Now you can have your very own Keaton

According to cnn.com, a company in Korea has successfully cloned a dog. For a mere $150k, you could have a carbon copy of me.

Hmmm, do you think that's too much for the world to handle?

Anyways, read about the clones here (The cloned dog was named Booger. Poor guy).

More Swim 4 Life photos

More photos on the DCAC website here

Also, official results here. I'm thinking they counted my victory lap as part of my "official time."

Swim 4 Life Race Report

First, thanks to my sponsors who helped me raise money. They had a good crowd and the event raised over $20k for the Chester River Association and a number of organizations that help AIDS/HIV patients. Also, special thanks to Anathea who served as my race sherpa and pup-arazzi, taking lots of photos.

The Swim 4 Life was held at Rolf's Wharf in Chestertown, MD. We got there about an hour early to get registered and bodymarked. Well, I didn't get marked, but I did get a cap (which I didn't wear). I was #23 (just like Michael Jordan). We did a little walking to warm up. I got geared up in my life vest and headed over the swimmer's meeting. The organizers introduced me and let everyone that know that I would be swimming in the 1 mile event. Everyone was happy to see me and clapped for me. A few folks even wanted to take pictures with me.

The event had 5 waves for the 5,4,3,2, and 1 mile events in that order. We planned to take off a few minutes after the humans in the 1 mile wave. Getting started was a little challenging. I'm used to the pool. Was I supposed to swim to the beach? Oh wait, you want me to swim to that buoy. Woah, that's a long way away. Luckily, Mom brought a toy to keep me pointed in the right direction. But darn, she kept getting in my way. After a while, we figured out a system. We were about half way to the buoy when the leader in the wave was already heading back. Yikes, I thought we better pick up the pace. Pretty soon most of the one milers were headed back towards the beach. I have to admit to a passing thought of ditching Mom and heading back with one of them. We reached the turn around buoy at 38 minutes (we were swimming against the current). Darn, I was hoping the finish under an hour. I was really going to have to pick up the pace. We made the turn around and I could see the beach (with all my new fans waiting for me). We were also starting to get passed by some of the blue caps (2 milers). I wasn't tired and just kept paddling my way towards the beach. As I got near, I heard folks calling my name and of course the cameras were flashing. We ended up at 1:00.50 (a huge negative split!) according to mom's watch.

Afterwards, we hung around a bit, accepted congratulations all around, and posed for a few more photos. Indeed, I was the top dog of the Chester River. I must have had a swimmer's high because I didn't even snooze on the drive home. Anyways, I had a lot of fun. Up next: still searching for my next event

Here are some photos
Working out some pre-race jitters


Pre-race photo with the 1 mile wave


And we're off


Leading Mom back to the finish


Post race celebration


My complete album is here

I will be the King of the River!

Chester River, that is. I'll be swimming this weekend at the DCAC Swim 4 Life. It's a great event with a 1,2,3,4, or 5 mile swim. I'll be rockin' the 1 mile. It's a fundraiser, so please visit my page and help me out
http://www.firstgiving.com/keatonwerner